gets a job.

Happy MLK Day!

2010-01-18T23:05:00.004-06:00

General Larry Platt gets a job as a civil rights activist.

I... don't think I need to explain.

Why can't we all just...

2010-01-15T20:04:00.003-06:00

Yes. I love him. And this is just as good as any Soulja Boy Tell 'em song. Whom I also love.

The "too soon?" series continues...

2010-01-13T20:33:00.004-06:00

Pat Robertson gets a job as Satan's assistant in hell.

Yup- more of a jab at Pat Robertson than anything, but definitely fits into "too soon" week.

Keep on truckin.

Too soon week is here!

2010-01-05T21:51:00.002-06:00

Britney Murphy gets a job entertaining Satan in hell.

I'm back, baby! And I'm doin a week dedicated to things that make me say "too soon?" If you got any ideas- let me know. I'm thinking... Let's see.. who else died in 09? Any good AIDS jokes out there?

Whatever

I'm hoping...

2009-12-09T22:44:00.002-06:00

The Grinch gets a job as a cardiologist.

I'm hoping that no one's done this joke before. I just keep thinking that it has to have been done.

Either way, it's one of my favorite jokes so far. Such a solid base. I still chortle when I see it. You should try chortling once.

Tryin a new thing

2009-12-02T01:08:00.001-06:00

Frank The Bunny gets a job as a birthday party entertainer.

So today I tried a different drawing method or style or whatever. Then I colored it different. I'm trying to get more "soul" into it while keeping it very timely.

IDK... we'll see...

Is anybody else excited for New Moon (the Twilight Saga)??!?!?! ZOMG

2009-11-20T19:53:00.003-06:00

Jacob Black (from Twilight) gets a job at Bigfoot's restaurant.

Yes, so continues our chronicling of the hijinks at Bigfoot's restaurant. He started out as a cook, but apparently he owns it now! Also, he referred to himself as Sasquatch, but Bigfoot is his stage name now.

Sasquatch gets a job as a cook.

A werewolf gets a job as a waiter.

Teen wolf gets a job at a restaurant.

Lots of pube jokes, there!
Leave comments people, please? I'll give you one Schrute buck!

Ru-fi-oooooooooo!

2009-11-18T00:50:00.004-06:00

Rufio gets a job as an arborist.

Arborists are the tree trimmers, by the way. Already did a tinkerbell one, I wonder if I should do a Peter Pan one...

Tinkerbell gets a job as a stripper.

I always hated this kid.

2009-11-12T01:37:00.001-06:00

Jonathan Brandis gets a job as a necromancer.

Can I say that I was pleasantly surprised to learn he killed himself 6 years ago? Nah, I won't go that far, but really... I'm sure when I was watching SeaQuest, I wanted him to die.

Ja rule, you rat lookin boy

2009-11-09T23:16:00.003-06:00

Ja Rule gets a job in the movie "Flowers for Algernon."

Man, he is my most hated rapper. I hate him even more than 50 cent. And I really really hate him.

Yank that hair bitch!

2009-11-06T20:57:00.003-06:00

Elizabeth Lambert gets a job as a stylist.

Man, did you guys see this on ESPN? In case you haven't seen it yet, check this out!

Marvelous, isn't it? She is takin care of business. It's also a very horrible, I don't condone, etc.

The thrilling conclusion.

2009-11-03T23:20:00.002-06:00

A walrus gets a job as an ivory dealer (part 3/3).

So this is how it ends for our walrus. Looks like, at the beginning of his career, he wanted to live big, but couldn't spend big. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check this out.

And yes... he dealt in pearls before moving onto more formidable prey.

Ivory dealer (2/3).

2009-10-29T22:55:00.002-05:00

A walrus gets a job as an ivory dealer (2/3).

Man, those Jurassic Park poachers had the goods! I bet, since they weren't winterized, and they were heavily used, these blood thirsty eskimos got a pretty sweet deal on them.

Or... at least the one they have in this picture.

Part 1 of the Walrus.

2009-10-26T22:25:00.002-05:00

A walrus gets a job as an ivory dealer. (Part 1/3)

So this is the first in a 3 part story arc of this walrus. Also, the walrus is modeled after one of my old bosses.

Enjoy.

What's the adjective for the amount of pimpness...

2009-10-20T21:23:00.002-05:00

A pimp gets a job as a hair stylist.

This is a very pimply comic. In the words of Mr. T from the hit movie "DC Cab," the kids look up to the drug dealin' pimps.

That movie was very pimply.

It was between this and blood.

2009-10-13T23:10:00.003-05:00

Spongebob Squarepants gets a job as a proctologist's assistant.

My infatuation with poop jokes knows no bounds. I think that's primal man peeking his little head through. Everyone like a good poop joke- or else 2 girls one cup wouldn't have been the internet sensation it was. To some extent, Goatse.

Bustin out!

2009-10-06T21:51:00.003-05:00

The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man gets a job selling erectile dysfunction pills.

I always like the saying "bustin' makes me feel good." There should be more jokes in the world revolving around this line.

This brings me to my next point: I wish more people knew how to spell marshmallow. While doing image searches for this comic, to get the likeness right, the official Ghostbusters toy website spelled marshmallow wrong. What is the world coming to.

Here are other pet peeve words that people should work on:
tomorrow
restaurant
college/collage

That's a lot of arms and ans.

2009-09-30T22:07:00.002-05:00

An octopus gets a job as an actor on an anime.

I'm starting to notice that the cell phone is the easy way of not drawing two characters. Let's hear it for short cuts! Anyway... anime is some pretty weird stuff.

No bones about it.

2009-09-28T23:06:00.001-05:00

An octopus gets a job as a drummer.

They've got no bones! (beaks don't count). Based on this information:

What would you do if an octopus said, "I've got a bone to pick with you?"

I'd call him a liar.

Skeletor in Spanish is "Eskeletor"

2009-09-24T00:22:00.002-05:00

Skeletor gets a job at Enterprise Rent-A-Car

Oh yes. If you don't remember, He-Man has been working at Enterprise for some time.

Poor little hippo.

2009-09-22T00:12:00.003-05:00

The blue Hungry, Hungry Hippo gets a job as a pharmacist.

There was a time when I was gonna be a pharmacist. I had a job at Walgreens as a pharmacy tech, and everything. It sucked. I can understand why this hippo's last resort. His tortured soul.

Kanga and 2 posts in a row

2009-09-17T01:02:00.002-05:00

Kanga gets a job as a courier.

Hundred Acre Wood just got a whole lot mucous-ier.

In other news, that's two posts in a row. I'm gettin the hang of this again!

I'm gonna stick with it!

2009-09-14T23:27:00.000-05:00

Papa Smurf gets a job in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.

Ok, I think I'm really gonna do it, for real.

A vulture gets a job...

2009-08-18T22:34:00.000-05:00

A vulture gets a job that requires him to travel.

Oh yeah. It's my most favorite pun that I've made up in recent memory. Still working out the kinks of art style. What's happening to me?!

Robocop gets a job as a verteranarian.

2009-08-12T21:05:00.000-05:00

Robocop gets a job as a veteranarian.

Ok, gettin back in the swing of things. Not much to report. Follow me on twitter by clicking the logo above!

A pawn gets a job as a king

2009-08-10T20:12:00.003-05:00

A pawn gets a job as a king.

I'm back babies! And I got a few new ideas. Thinkin' more about theme weeks to keep things rolling. Snack week perhaps next week, but this week will definitely be board games. Hungry Hungry Hippos anyone? Operation? Should be pretty good.

Gone Fishin'

2009-07-15T18:03:00.001-05:00

Gone fishin'

Well I'm not really fishin. Just... a lot of things caught up to me these past weeks and I need to focus on things that make me money or cost me a lot of money. Also, I can probably think of some fresh jokes!

So, I will see you in two weeks!

BAM!

2009-07-07T22:47:00.001-05:00

Emeril gets a job as The Sandman.

You the one that's been bringin' me all this sand? What are you, the sandman or somethin'?!

Maybe this one is inspired by how sleepy I am and how creepy the idea of a sandman is.

Cannibalism at is worst.

2009-07-02T23:44:00.002-05:00

Pac Man gets a job at the Twister factory.

He makes it rain in the club, it's Pac Man.

So comes the close to a truly horrible week. To the lady in the red car... If I find you, I don't know what I'm going to do. You need to learn how to drive... next time I'll chase you 22 miles and actually catch you.

Energizer Bunny

2009-06-30T23:09:00.002-05:00

The Energizer Bunny gets a job as a slave driver.

Can't believe I didn't think of this before... it's probably been done, but I swears I didn't copy it.

Anyway, if you haven't already done so, why don't you subscribe to the RSS feed up at the top of the site! Your dead grandmother would want you to... and her ghost will haunt you if you don't... so...

New RSS Feed!

2009-06-30T22:04:00.002-05:00

No comic, yet.

But it looks like my RSS feed may be working.... check it out. Maybe?

Perfect for protecting your fuzzy yarbles.

2009-06-25T23:19:00.002-05:00

Alex, from A Clockwork Orange, gets a job designing restaurant uniforms.

Ok, so here goes an attempt to improve the art quality. We'll see how it goes.

Pinocchio, racism and sexism.

2009-06-24T23:37:00.004-05:00

Pinocchio gets a job as a sex toy.

In other news, MetaFilter hates me!

Apparently I'm offensive to Mexicans and women. I am currently Mexican... and I enjoy jokes about women. I'm 25 and married... so.... One valid point the nice folks at Meta Filter have is the art quality. This comes up from time to time, but I think that's just how it goes, considering my comic hero is NatalieDee:

nataliedee.com

... considering that, I'd say I'm doing pretty much what I aim to do. And better art and quality is always something to strive for. Can someone with a MetaFilter account let them know!

Also- thanks for checkin' out the comic!

Sham Wow is next!

2009-06-21T21:49:00.002-05:00

Billy Mays gets a job selling feminine hygiene products.

I was watching Pitchmen on Discovery today. It's pretty good.

So I really think I'll get back on track this week. Had kind of a big interruption mid-week last week. Got locked out of my house, then couldn't lock the house in the morning, then locked my keys in the car. Boo.

Disney....

2009-06-14T18:03:00.003-05:00

Ariel gets a job as a stripper.

Following my formula, here's the Little Mermaid.

Now, I think Disney has created a generation of guys who think under-aged, miniature cartoons are hot. This is a problem.

Also, mermaids prove how much importance we place on breastesses. We are willing to look past the scales, cold blood, no legs and no vagina as long as a girl has a nice rack. Where would we put it? Who knows- but we'd find a place, believe me.

So judgemental

2009-06-12T22:58:00.002-05:00

The Wii Fit gets a job as a receptionist.

I don't remember Kid Icarus or Qbert ever being such a bitch to me. Can you imagine Final Fantasy VII asking you "hey, Man, Sephiroth is literally about to kill us all. He's totally pissed about his mom and seeks revenge. Why don't you play me more?"

Aaron

Why does nobody understand this joke?

2009-06-10T22:54:00.002-05:00

Rumpelstiltskin gets a job writing songs for Alicia Keys.

I know it's a stretch, but whatever.

Picasso was an opium whore.

2009-06-08T20:40:00.003-05:00

Picasso gets a job making signs for the city.

And when I say "The City" I mean my favorite show, The City. I love how people in scripted reality shows get glorious jobs with no experience, talent or education. That's a side note.

Crying and grunting.

2009-06-04T21:03:00.001-05:00

Clifford gets a job as a seeing eye dog.

Crying and grunting is never a good sign. Anyone else see the perfect crime that is making a comic about blind people?

That's all I have to say.

You must be mad.

2009-06-02T21:45:00.002-05:00

The Cheshire Cat gets a job as an assassin.

Continuing "Children's Literature Week!"

I think I'll read this book this weekend. It's one of those books that should have been in my primary school reading requirements. It wasn't.

You 'member that book?

2009-05-30T00:23:00.003-05:00

Frog and Toad get jobs in a smart new sitcom.

Ah yes, Frog and Toad. I like to test my literary chops from time to time. Could there be a Crime and Punishment comic in the future? I would have to check SparkNotes and think about it.

Is that website still around? Perhaps DogEars? Either way... should it be book week next week?

150th birthday!

2009-05-27T23:52:00.003-05:00

Tinkerbell gets a job as a stripper.

Yes, you heard and read and probably saw correctly- this is number 150 for old Aaron, here. I've cut it back to 3/week, but that just means a slower ride on the fun train. Which I think is equally desirable to the opposite sex.

So thanks for checkin' them out, and check out these other hot mommas.

Strawberry Shortcake gets a job as a stripper.
Rainbow Brite gets a job as a stripper.

Also, be sure to check out Tinkerbell on DVD, especially if you play World of Warcraft. She's an Engineer who lives in Tinkertown.

Hey mang!

2009-05-25T20:05:00.002-05:00

Quetzalcoatl gets a job as a piñata.

Ok... I'm thinking I should make a week full of cultural jokes. Mexican week. You should probably check out Quetzalcoatl. Pronounced: Ketz-al-co-ahh-tel. He was a bad-apple serpent god in the Mayan religion. I'm pretty sure he has a temple in Teotihuacan.

I love being Mexican.

BY the way... .I think I'm gonna bring back Evil Jesus: The Everliving, withing the context of GAJ. I've already had two characters on. Can you guess who they are?

Thick as two thieves in a pod.

2009-05-24T23:27:00.003-05:00

The Hamburglar gets a job as a high school career adviser.

Oh so delicious. I hate that theft-related food mascots have all disappeared. What's so bad about some a-hole trying to steal our food? It gives the message that it's valuable and we should cherish it. Plus, he had a dog that helped him.

Even the Trix rabbit doesn't try to steal cereal anymore. It's a GD shame. Who else tried to steal food? Chester Cheetah... no. Dinosaurs from Kraft Mac&Cheese? No... who else?

True story!

2009-05-20T23:22:00.003-05:00

Michael Vick gets a job as an activist.

In case you didn't know: Michael Vick is/was a football player. He went to jail for dog fights and killin the dogs afterward. He's out now and, in an attempt to fix his image, he's working with the Humane Society to give some public service messages.

Oh well, I don't think he'll be doing that again. Probably just go to Mexico for cock fights. I'm sure he saw some of those in prison.

Evil lookin trolls

2009-05-18T22:06:00.002-05:00

A treasure troll gets a job as a kidnapper.

My wife said "treasure troll" when I asked what I should do. So here it is. I think they would be good captors. Here's some more proof of that. Possibly NSFW.

Captured by trolls.

Look at that distented belly.

2009-05-15T13:51:00.003-05:00

Gandhi gets a job as a fashion model.

Anyway- I'm just excited because my new Adobe CS4 package came in the mail today! Holllllllerrr!

Here's another fashion conscious edition of GAJ:
Jack Skellington gets a job as a female model.

The results are in!

2009-05-13T23:48:00.003-05:00

Maury Povich gets a job as a urologist.

Not really sure who that girl is. Could be anyone. For those Maury fans out there, I have another Maury as a urologist.

Maury Povich gets a job as a urologist. The Prequel.

Looking back.. I think my art/care taken is improving. Wonder what I could do with some great effort?

I don't know what I'm going to do!

2009-05-11T22:47:00.001-05:00

Toucan Sam gets a job at a truck stop.

For more information on this matter, please refer to MC Chris.

You got it, dude!

2009-05-08T22:27:00.004-05:00

Willy Wonka gets a job as a Mexican tattoo artist.

Ok, so I succame to my personal pressures to tell this joke. BTW: Succame is the past tense of succumb. To gauge how dark te skin should be, I held up my arm to the screen. I believe the color is mocha.

Hey, mang. Take care of dat tattoo.

2009-05-08T00:20:00.002-05:00

Willy Wonka gets a job as a tattoo artist

Well, it's been a rough week, so the comics have taken a back seat. I should be back in control of them for next week for sure.

Anyway. I thought of making it "gets a job as a Mexican tattoo artist" so I could give him a mustache and make him say "mang."

Old people

2009-05-04T23:27:00.002-05:00

A terminator gets a job as an elderly-assistance robot.

Can we blame them for not really understanding how these things work?

My grandparents are online all the time. Chatting, playing games and scorning everyone! You know... REAL PROS!

I can't really think of any other uses for the internet besides porn.

A new low

2009-05-04T00:51:00.002-05:00

Lucky Charms gets a job as a child sex trafficker

Ok, I just thought I needed a Lucky Charms one. Yes, it's a new low as far as writing goes, but I think the subtlety in his eyes really conveys the message. Posicles.

Are they free? Are there any popsicles? Why doesn't he have Lucky Charms cereal?

Oh, Steven Prime.

2009-04-29T23:05:00.003-05:00

Megatron gets a job as a substitute teacher.

That Steven Prime is just a jerk. Not much more to the joke- for more transformers fun, check out:

Optimus Prime gets a job as a hypnotist.

That was during "pun week." I'm so punny! Punny? I thought you said money. Money? I thought you said bunny.

Based on a true story, LOL!

2009-04-27T23:28:00.003-05:00

Jeffrey Dahmer gets a job as a car salesman.

Being from Milwaukee, I feel I must pay homage to the creeps that are produced here.

Don't know who this is? Well he was a gay serial killer/cannibal that worked in a long-closed chocolate factory here in Milwaukee.

He would bring boys home from the clubs and, you know, prepare them for the feast. You should really check him out on google. Oh! And justice was served for this guy, as he was beaten to death with a broom early in his prison sentence. LOL!

Yeah bitch!

2009-04-26T22:14:00.002-05:00

Samuel L. Jackson gets a job as a spitter in Jurassic Park.

Well I was watchin' Jurassic Park today. I know he's already in the movie, but I think he could be much funnier as some of the dinosaurs.

Also, try this next time the raptors bust in: say "Hey, fuckers!" in a raptor voice. Or... try it with this image.

Well, keep it rockin',
Aaron

Zombie infestation!

2009-04-23T20:34:00.004-05:00

A zombie gets a job as a gardener.

It's an infestation because I made a bonus joke! Racism not your cup of tea? How about gay jokes?

Zombie Alternate Joke

Yup. So those are the zombies. Oh... if you don't get the gay joke. It's like a triple entendre. I guess if you don't listen to any rap or R&B, then you probably haven't thought of brain in this sense.

Old School TV

2009-04-22T23:55:00.004-05:00

Mimi Bobeck gets a job as a party clown.

Well... not too old school TV. But this show hasn't been on in awhile, and it was awesome!

Being a midwesterner, I love any TV talking about our beer swilling, meat eating, cold surviving, bad baseball team lovin' life (except for when the Tigers won the world series). Cardinals are pretty good, I guess.

Anyway- if you don't get it. Google the "Drew Carey Show." Mimi was an awesome character who loved trolls. Which I should make into a comic.

Yours,
Sincerely,
Aaron

Begs the question.

2009-04-21T22:32:00.003-05:00

Miley Cyrus gets a job as a bank robber.

The joke begs the question: why did I make such skanky picture?

If you do a google image search on Miley Cyrus and see the first couple pictures on the list, you'll understand. Art reflects life.

Every girl's favorite artist is back!

2009-04-20T22:57:00.004-05:00

Lisa Frank in the house.

I was just goin for juxtaposition here, if you couldn't tell. Which I know you could.

Here's another Lisa Frank picture! Print it out and tape it to your folder!

In other news- have you ever had to wipe your puppy's butt with a leaf?

Open late for draculas!

2009-04-20T00:42:00.002-05:00

I don't quite understand my unnatural obsession with Edward Cullen and his jokes.

Either way, there it is.

Not much goin' on tonight... but I am now going to sleep. I'll see you all in your dreams.

Oh he will tell him.

2009-04-17T21:08:00.003-05:00

And get that bargain.

For those of you who don't know. "Soulja Boy tell 'em" is a very famous and innovative American rapper. He got famous from listing all his shitty songs on P2P networks as "new 50 cent track." Since then he has come up with such hits as "Crank Dat," which ushered in the age of "The Superman" dance. Seen here. Feel free to save that one to your phone.

"Aaron, how do I know if Soulja Boy is singing my favorite song that I'm listening to right now?"

Well... he tells you so in the beginning of his songs.

Soulja Boy Tell 'em is on my short list of "guilty pleasure" musicians. Up there with Panic!.

All this information should be added to The Wikipedia.

School, work and comics.

2009-04-16T20:24:00.004-05:00

Man... looks like I'll have to restructure my weekends to accomplish more.

Also- Pepe Le Peu was obviously a rapist. I'd imagine he'd have a great time in an animal hospital. I wonder what other cartoon characters were rapists?

Was he the only one? Maybe Magilla Gorilla. Just for the fact that he was big enough, but that's a little racist.

Sherry Bobbins

2009-04-13T22:53:00.003-05:00

Like Ricky Rouse or Monald Muck.

I think I saw a Mary Poppins commercial yesterday and I thought about her trips to the ceiling. Remember those guys in the Matrix that were walking on the ceiling... It's like, "ok... so you're on the ceiling. How does that make me shooting you any more difficult?"

Hmm... What kind of Matrix comic could I do?

What's going on here?

2009-04-12T23:12:00.002-05:00

You know... it's a real shame that politician committed suicide. "Predator" as my friends and I like to call it was an awesome show! It gave us such potent potables as the lines in the comic and the title of this blog.

Other favorites are:

Well, I have the transcripts right here.
I am fixed.

Check this out! To Catch a Chris Hansen.

2009-04-09T20:14:00.002-05:00

Yes, Lil Wayne.

Anyway- I got a real job now, kinda, so that's cool. I hope it doesn't bite into my GAJ time. I'll be designing picture frames... so it's a start!

Every time!

2009-04-07T17:47:00.002-05:00

Now, I've never had one of these, but I'm sure if Wolverine did them... it would hurt every time.

Draculitis

2009-04-06T23:27:00.004-05:00

Yes, I like Twilight. But only because I have Draculitis. That's where one is addicted to anything dracula related, as you can tell my my first 5 comics and subsequent Dracula jokes. This also includes:

Billy Corgan as a dracula.

I'll take the chopped dog.

2009-04-03T14:38:00.002-05:00

Does anyone want to know how they prepare (kill) dogs in China for the restaurant?

It's actually not that common, but only for special meals and the young people usually don't eat it. But if you happen to be strolling down a Chinese street and see a dog chained up in front of a restaurant... it's not a mascot. It's delicious.

If plants could talk.

2009-04-02T22:20:00.002-05:00

Not sure if I'm happy about the plant talking. Just kinda felt like a good end cap to the joke.

Of course there are other reasons to have the wig.

Also- if you check out the tags, this will bring in people looking for Hannah Montana. Hopefully some perverts and child molesters. (Preview: Chris Hansen gets a job next week)!!

The Poop Deck

2009-04-01T18:10:00.002-05:00

So I hear Star Trek is coming out soon. It has Sylar in it.

Here are a couple Sylar comics from the archive.

Sylar gets a job as a brain surgeon.

Sylar gets a job as Hannibal Lecter's assistant.

2009-03-30T21:31:00.002-05:00

Oh, classic cartoon racism.

I never realized until I was older how racist those old dinosaurs were. I think they were baby boomers... all crotchety and hateful, consuming all the fuel. And then there's Little Foot's generation, voting for Obama, and "believing in" evolution.

T-Pain (on a boat)

2009-03-26T13:08:00.002-05:00

I really need to find my Pokémon Diamond. And my Mao Zedong bag. What has this world come to!?

Home Alone

2009-03-25T22:10:00.003-05:00

Don't know Kevin McCallister? AKA- Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone and Home Alone 2. The thing I never understood was... those guys never died? I'm pretty sure Daniel Stern got hit with a cinder block dropped from the roof... also a heated iron.

Like a Shax out of hell.

2009-03-24T22:49:00.003-05:00

So... I chose Shax, the Duke of Hell. Check him out, wikipedia-lly speaking. Cool name and title. See, GAJ can also be a learning experience.

Dr. Manhattan

2009-03-23T15:40:00.001-05:00

So here it is, clearly losing his understanding of human emotions and reasoning.

You think if he txtd people he would understand emoticons? :D

Site design

2009-03-22T23:32:00.001-05:00

Okay, so along with site design I've added a blog here. Now you can comment or whatever you want to do. You can even pee on the site, but that may damage your computer unless you have one of those military grade Dell computers.

new blog

2009-03-22T23:24:00.001-05:00

so here it is... a blog.